E Mullah الیکٹرونک مُلا: War of Words - between Tom Cruise and Brook Shields .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Friday, July 01, 2005

War of Words - between Tom Cruise and Brook Shields


Hey Brook! You are right that men do not suffer from postpartum depression but I guess they suffer from a similar illness: post marital depression. Some people may argue that men may suffer from postpartum depression as well like they suffer from pregnancy sickness (I read that spouses also suffer from sickness when they see their wife suffering everyday). So I believe men would suffer from postpartum depression or something similar to that once they realize that life has taken a new turn and all the mountains they thought conquering and moving on are standing in their way as insurmountable. They also reach a point that they look at their kids and think why? . . . Why all this? If they were doing much better without them. Now they have to rush for rash cream, milk bottles, and diapers in the middle of night which their postpartum suffering wife forgot to bring during her shopping trip. No one wants to look into the life of men because . . . they are men . . . and their job is to suffer. Usually it happens with all the men and women who are over ambitious and have had zealous plans in their life, which crumble down after the birth of their babies and so they feel like stuck.

I can tell by reading your article that you have suffered because you felt stuck and that is off course very normal (I mean felt stuck) for a person who leads a very active, dynamic and fun filled life. Therefore you found refuge in the explanation of hormonal imbalance. There are many women who on the other hand do not suffer from such depressions or are rescued from depressions in other ways (By the way! I am not supporting Tom or his church but looking into other people’s life). For women in my part of the world (South Asia), their life goes on as they get help from family members. So they do not feel any repulsion to their kids. With a career and life like yours I can imagine how much stuck you could have felt.

When my second kid was born I went into a much greater depression as compared to my wife. My doctor evaluated and diagnosed me with depression and suggested medication, which I refused to take. I did overcome my depression by exercise which I actually started to lower my cholesterol. The years of depression brought me a life in which I was just easting, sleeping and doing everything but in a listless manner. The depression increased and took a new turn with medication and when I realised that medicines would rather worsen my depression that very moment I decided to stop the medicine. Things went on for a while and my cholesterol started going up which I never realized. Only after my father's death from heart failure I became little bit concerned about myself and decided to check with the doctor. The doctor laughed at me and said you are too young to be monitored. Just reminded me of the funny story "A man who was a Hospital". I however insisted and when the results came in I had 255. The Dr. was surprised too. However, the level was confirmed in retesting. That very moment I decided to change my life and started going out for exercise and stopped worrying about everything else but myself. I lowered my cholesterol back to 157 in six months by playing squash regularly. After six months or so I realized that I am winning battle against depression as well. Definitely playing squash not only helped me with my cholesterol but with my depression as well.

It is off course possible that some women and men cannot overcome depression without medication however at the same time there are people who would go for the other route: exercise and meditation. Anyway, Tom should not have acted like an authority but people believe that it may be scientology politics or zeal that have led him to do his wierd act.

War of Words - New York Times: "I WAS hoping it wouldn't come to this, but after Tom Cruise's interview with Matt Lauer on the NBC show 'Today' last week, I feel compelled to speak not just for myself but also for the hundreds of thousands of women who have suffered from postpartum depression. While Mr. Cruise says that Mr. Lauer and I do not 'understand the history of
psychiatry,' I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Mr. Cruise has never suffered from postpartum depression."


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